This week I am grateful for
those moments when you feel as though everything is beginning to fall into place.
For quite some time now, I’ve been feeling like all I am doing in treading water. My identity has done a complete 180 with motherhood and I’ve been feeling a bit lost when it comes to my path aside from motherhood. I have also been suffering from postpartum depression which has been tough on everyone. Michael has been searching for a new job and for months his prospects have been super bleak. Most of that has to do with the fact that Asheville is a tough place to find a non-service industry job. We were considering moving and all of the jobs he was finding were in cities we were less than thrilled about. Amelia has been teething super fast and it has been super painful for her. Sleepless nights have been aplenty. Sleep deprivation is hard. Period.
I’m a firm believer in the power of manifestation. However, there must be some sort of action behind your manifestations. I definitely don’t believe the whole idea “if you think it then it will happen”. You have to think it & believe it and work towards it. Over the past year I’ve been doing just that – setting strong intentions and working towards them. It’s finally paying off and I feel completely elated about it!
This blog began as a therapeutic outlet for me. I needed something creative and intellectually stimulating to work on. I needed an outlet for my postpartum depression. Writing has always been cathartic for me so a blog seemed like a natural platform. I never imagined that this blog would begin to BOOM like it has been. I feel like I’m thriving in this endeavor. Not only am I enjoying writing I am also enjoying the nerdy, technical aspects of blogging from web design and maintenance to SEO and data analysis of my web traffic. I even felt brave enough to submit a couple of writing pieces to an internationally known online media outlet and received a personal (not automated) response saying the pieces were great but the content is not what they are looking for at this moment. I was encouraged to send more work. I’m feeling invigorated and inspired. It’s been a while since I could say that and it feels really good.
In the past week, Michael has had three job prospects present themselves! The most amazing part is that all three are here in Asheville so we won’t have to move!
As far as sleep deprivation and teething, we have fully embraced and committed to co-sleeping. We have always been off and on co-sleepers. Amelia likes her crib and usually sleeps deeper if she’s in it. However, like with all aspects of parenting and babies, once you get used to a rhythm it will then change. I plopped Amelia in bed with us and BAM sleep is happening for all. I have mixed feelings about full-time co-sleeping, but honestly I’m going with it because everyone is sleeping better because of it and I can’t see anything other than positivity in that.
So there you have it. Things are falling into place and looking up and it feels amazing. I love when the universe comes around for you. It validates all the struggles and hardships. It reminds you that everything happens for a reason. Such a notion is extremely comforting.
Thank you to everyone who has been supporting Type A Mamas. I am super grateful.
I first read this book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz several years ago. Every time I revisit this book it holds a new meaning for me which is a sign of a powerful piece. As I’ve grown and changed throughout the years these four agreements hold true and steady. They are so simple and seemingly obvious, however it takes a constant effort and awareness to continually practice them. I definitely need a periodic reminder of these agreements. What better time to revisit The Four Agreements than in the face of a new year!
I hope everyone has a great weekend! Stay tuned for my Stitch Fix #6 review!
Before becoming a mom, there was so much about motherhood that I understood on a cerebral level but not on an emotional level. Even while I was pregnant I did not fully grasp the emotional changes that were about to happen. Pregnancy changed me, but giving birth and finally meeting my daughter solidified that change. As time progresses, that change becomes more entrenched and fierce.
I am not someone who desperately wanted to be a mom. I wasn’t opposed to having children, but it wasn’t on the top of my bucket list. Career, travel, adventure, and exploration were higher up on that list. Honestly, if it were up to me planning on getting pregnant, I don’t think it would have ever happened. I would have found reasons as to why it wasn’t the right time and then next thing you know itm it would be too late.
Now that I’m a mom, I find my priorities have changed. Being the best mom I can be is my top priority. I find myself making career decisions based on this change in priorities. Before the birth of my daughter I wanted to fully immerse myself in career and academia, now I find myself searching for pathways that are less demanding and allow more flexibility so I can spend most of my time with my family.
My old self occasionally creeps up to the surface and is baffled at these changes! How can I – the type A, overachiever – be content with anything less than a full court press approach to career and adventure!? I still struggle with reconciling the old me with the new me, however the new me is definitely a better, more balanced version of myself. My “old self” – which is really my ego – can be a bit of a sabotager. It can be tricky differentiating between the ego and your true self. The more aware you are of the tricks of the ego the clearer you will be in navigating your world.
Now, as a mom, I am changing my approach to what the next step for me, the individual (not the mom), is going to be. This is all new territory for me so of course there’s fear and uncertainty in all of this change. However, as I discussed in the post Leaning In To Uncertainty, I am up for the challenge.
Here are my questions to you all –
What major life events have pushed you to refocus and reexamine your priorities?
How did you cope with all the change?
Did you struggle with the battle between your ego and true self?
Whew! I have a tendency to rush through life with all my type A be productiveness. I spend most of my time in either the past or future. It’s been a struggle for me to live in the present, but I have been working hard on it and am starting to get better at it. My daughter and fur babies help keep me present in the moment.
What helps keep you present in the now?