I’m sorry, but it takes a sick person to voluntarily want to become a dentist. Teeth are the BANE of my existence right now. I thought the newborn stage was hard, but it pales in comparison to teeth. We’ve had 3 teeth cut through in 6 weeks. Looking back, the newborn stage was easier because the magic cure for everything was a boob. Seriously, I have a newfound appreciation for my breasts. What an amazing body part! They are like superheroes! Now with teething, it depends on the day/night as to what helps and soothes if anything at all! Some days/nights the only thing I can do is hold her while she cries and hope to God she falls asleep soon because I’ve literally tried every trick in the book and have no idea what else to do other than rub whiskey on her gums which I’m pretty sure is frowned upon so I don’t do it.
Needless to say, it’s been an intense couple of months for everyone. It a crushing blow when your wee one was sleeping through the night and then BAM! No more sleeping through the night. It’s like dealing with a death. The death of sweet, precious, wondrous sleep. In my opinion, the sleep deprivation is the hardest part of having kids.
Sleep deprivation does strange things to you. I’m sad. I’m cranky. I’m irrational. I now know why babies are so cute. It’s to help you cope with the lack of sleep.
Sleep deprivation is no joke y’all. Here are 10 crazy thoughts I’ve had these past few teething weeks…
- Is the whole whiskey on the gums deal really all that bad for baby!?
- You revert back to your kid-self pleading with the universe saying, “I swear I’ll never ask for anything ever again if you grant me this one wish of having a full nights sleep!”
- How can he (significant other) sleep through this!? Is it too Jerry Springer of me to smack him upside the head with a shoe?
- Maybe tonight will be the night she goes back to sleeping through the night!
- You bust out the spreadsheets – because excel cures all – and start frantically keeping a sleep log in hopes that you find some sort of answer.
- You reread all the sleep books just to come to the same conclusion as before and that is that they are all full of shit.
- You want to take that godforsaken glider and ottoman and light it on fire while screaming and dancing wildly around the bonfire you just created. That will be my sleep dance just like what the Native Americans used to do when they’d pray for rain during a drought.
- How can she not be tired!? We’ve had the same amount of sleep and I’m a zombie!
- I should get my crafty, DIYness on and create a tombstone to put out in the front yard that reads “here lies sleep.”
- Coffee no longer works. How can this be? I feel like I’ve lost a trusty friend. I should create another tombstone that says “here lies coffee.”
What are some of the crazy thoughts you’ve had at your most sleep deprived moments?