I’ll follow you back! 🙂
I love books. Getting lost in a good book is one of my favorite pastimes. Add a cozy blanket and a glass of good red wine and I am in heaven. Unfortunately, since becoming a mom I haven’t been doing a lot of book reading. I’ve been reading a TON of online articles because it’s easy to read from your phone while breastfeeding. I miss books and I want to get back into reading for pleasure.
I’ve been reading Patrick Rothfuss’s novel The Name of the Wind for over a year now. I am halfway through the book, but have yet to find time to finish it. This is not because the book is terrible – in fact, every time I pick up this book I wonder why I have been able to put it down without binge reading.
That being said I believe its high time I finish it! It’s also high time I set some reading goals so I can get my reading momentum back.
Here’s a list of my goals:
† Finish reading The Name of the Wind
† Read and review 2 books per month
† One book a month should be from an author I’ve never read before
Any author/book suggestions? Any genre 🙂
If you are a bookworm and want to share book suggestions let’s connect on Goodreads.
Alright, I’ll get to reading 👓
Well, no one seemed to think I should keep the purple hooded tunic! The blue button sweater and the jeans were your favorites 🙂 I loved those two pieces as well.
So what did I end up keeping?
I love patterns so the blouse was an obvious choice for me. I also love funky hardware on clothes so the buttons won me over as well.
The grey loose fitting shirt is a piece that fit perfectly and is a style I don’t have in my wardrobe. It looks better on than in this picture.
In my next post, I’ll post pictures of me wearing all of my stitch fix purchases so you can see how all of these pieces fit.
Till next time!
I’m sorry, but it takes a sick person to voluntarily want to become a dentist. Teeth are the BANE of my existence right now. I thought the newborn stage was hard, but it pales in comparison to teeth. We’ve had 3 teeth cut through in 6 weeks. Looking back, the newborn stage was easier because the magic cure for everything was a boob. Seriously, I have a newfound appreciation for my breasts. What an amazing body part! They are like superheroes! Now with teething, it depends on the day/night as to what helps and soothes if anything at all! Some days/nights the only thing I can do is hold her while she cries and hope to God she falls asleep soon because I’ve literally tried every trick in the book and have no idea what else to do other than rub whiskey on her gums which I’m pretty sure is frowned upon so I don’t do it.
Needless to say, it’s been an intense couple of months for everyone. It a crushing blow when your wee one was sleeping through the night and then BAM! No more sleeping through the night. It’s like dealing with a death. The death of sweet, precious, wondrous sleep. In my opinion, the sleep deprivation is the hardest part of having kids.
Sleep deprivation does strange things to you. I’m sad. I’m cranky. I’m irrational. I now know why babies are so cute. It’s to help you cope with the lack of sleep.
Sleep deprivation is no joke y’all. Here are 10 crazy thoughts I’ve had these past few teething weeks…
- Is the whole whiskey on the gums deal really all that bad for baby!?
- You revert back to your kid-self pleading with the universe saying, “I swear I’ll never ask for anything ever again if you grant me this one wish of having a full nights sleep!”
- How can he (significant other) sleep through this!? Is it too Jerry Springer of me to smack him upside the head with a shoe?
- Maybe tonight will be the night she goes back to sleeping through the night!
- You bust out the spreadsheets – because excel cures all – and start frantically keeping a sleep log in hopes that you find some sort of answer.
- You reread all the sleep books just to come to the same conclusion as before and that is that they are all full of shit.
- You want to take that godforsaken glider and ottoman and light it on fire while screaming and dancing wildly around the bonfire you just created. That will be my sleep dance just like what the Native Americans used to do when they’d pray for rain during a drought.
- How can she not be tired!? We’ve had the same amount of sleep and I’m a zombie!
- I should get my crafty, DIYness on and create a tombstone to put out in the front yard that reads “here lies sleep.”
- Coffee no longer works. How can this be? I feel like I’ve lost a trusty friend. I should create another tombstone that says “here lies coffee.”
What are some of the crazy thoughts you’ve had at your most sleep deprived moments?
What a powerful question this article by David Brooks with the New York Times discusses using Lady Gaga as an example of someone pursing their passion without fear. This article really resonates with me at this stage in my life.
So, a little over a year ago, I was packing up my apartment and on my way to graduate school at Tulane University’s School of Science and Engineering in New Orleans, LA. I had just gone through a difficult break up and was feeling a bit lost. Graduate school seemed like a great way to start anew. I was ready for a change in every possible way. A change in location, a change in career, a change in life rhythm, a change in myself. New Orleans was the perfect location as I would be closer to my beloved grandparents whom I was very close with and was looking forward to being near them. It seemed as though everything were falling into place for a new chapter for me!
And then the universe came crashing down.
A few short weeks before the moving truck was scheduled to pull out of Asheville, NC my grandmother passed away. I was devastated. I had just packed up my hair rollers in anticipation of doing her hair for her (I’ve been a hairstylist for the past decade). This couldn’t be happening. I was almost down there!
So I travel down to Cajun country to lay my sweet granny to rest. Little did I know that my grandmother’s passing was just the tip of the iceberg in the major waves the universe was about to pound me with. At my granny’s funeral, I saw my father for the first time in years. We’ve been estranged for almost a decade. It was a very emotional experience. I almost didn’t recognize him. A decade can do a lot to one’s appearance. My mother attended the funeral and it was the first time her and my father had seen each other in over a decade. They do not have a rosy past and those two being in the same room again after all these years brought back all sorts of childhood anxieties for me. It was intense.
Then the big boom happened. The day of my grandmother’s funeral arrived. By this point my period was late but I kept rationalizing that it was because of all the stress I was under. A few weeks prior, Michael (my then ex) and I went on a camping trip for my birthday. It was a bittersweet goodbye of sorts. The evening after the funeral, the whole family went out to dinner at Don’s Seafood Hut. I ordered an Abita Amber, my favorite, but couldn’t stand the taste of it. The waiter brought out our aromatic seafood dishes and I about hurled all over the table. I excused myself and went to the bathroom. That’s when I knew. The next day I slipped away and bought a pregnancy test. Four positive tests later it was confirmed. Life just slapped me in the face with a for real game changer and shit just got real.
Terrified and unsure as I was, I made the choice to embrace this game changer the universe threw at me. Michael and I moved back in together and began the difficult and tumultuous road towards parenthood together and working out our differences to become a family and be together. It was a lot of unexpected change. There was a lot I lost. However, there was a lot I gained. I’m still processing all of this. I’m still in shock even though my daughter is already 8 months old! There is a lot of unresolved grief. Grief for my grandmother. Grief for the loss of graduate school. Grief for the loss of my independence. Grief for the loss of who I was pre-baby. There is also a lot of joy. My daughter has already proven to be my greatest teacher. Her arrival was supposed to happen – that I’m sure of. My world was supposed to come crashing down only to be built anew.
Which brings me to my greater point. The arrival of Amelia has opened my eyes. I was not living a fearless life. I was choosing the Tulane graduate school chapter out of fear. Fear that I wasn’t taking enough chances in life. Fear that it was my only chance to do something unique and different. Fear that I would be judged if I didn’t pursue graduate school. I was motivated by my ego. I was motivated by my industrious, practical side. I was motivated by the potential financial security a Master’s in Applied Mathematics would provide. I was not motivated by passion. My passions lie elsewhere. Since becoming a mom, I’m realizing that I stifle my passions because I’m afraid. My type A, always responsible and organized self won’t allow me to pursue my passions because they are “impractical” and “risky”. Our society encourages such thinking. We are all about practicality. Hence why the arts and humanities are struggling in the face of our technological age. Students are being told to pursue “useful” degrees. Public schools are cutting music programs and art programs to greater fund the math and sciences. Historical sites all over the country are losing their funding to stay opened or be properly maintained because it’s viewed as a waste of money. We are becoming slaves to practicality and we are losing. We are making decisions about life and happiness based on financial gain. What degree can you make the most money with? What degree can you get the best jobs with? What happened to the pursuit of knowledge and passion for sheer exploration and the collective betterment of ourselves and the world regardless of financial gain or practicality? I firmly believe that if you pursue your passion you can find a way to make a sustainable life from it because where there’s a will there’s a way.
I’ve been spending much of my time wondering where has such fear gotten me? Such fear has kept me in a never-ending cycle that I desperately want to break free of. All of this was shown to me by an infant. Bringing this fresh, clean, new life into the world made me realize that she is a clean slate. She hasn’t been tainted by the world yet. I don’t want her to go through life acting out of fear. I want to teach her to pursue her passions no matter what. How am I to teach her that if I don’t embody that philosophy myself?
So I am exploring my answer to the question “what would you be and what would you do if you weren’t afraid?” It’s a terrifying endeavor because there are many patterns that I have to face and change in order to find my truth. I’m willing to do it though. For my sake and for my daughter’s sake.
Now I ask you, what would you be and what would you do if you weren’t afraid?