Disclaimer: This is going to be a bit of a ranty, wine-induced post. Real talk, foul language, bluntness, and self examination is what this post is in for. You’ve been warned.
I haven’t done a Gratitude Friday post in a while because lately I haven’t been feeling the grateful vibe. Which is crappy. I know. Gratitude is a good thing. Gratitude fosters happiness and helps one live and love the moment. I know all of these things, yet I’ve been in a bah-humbugey mood because quite frankly 2016 sucked and I’m emotionally, physically, spiritually, politically, everything-ly exhausted!
So, I’m grateful for the beginning of a fresh new year to wipe away the downright shittiness of 2016. Yes, good riddance 2016! Don’t let the door kick you in the ass on your way out!
2016 was the year we elected Donald Trump. Jesus Christ America. I’m so disappointed in you!
We lost, what seems like, a ton of icons and heroes.
2016 was the year of awful police-race relations.
2016 was the year of death and disease in my family.
2016 was the year of relationship struggles for me.
2016 has been the year of feeling like I’m in limbo.
2016 has been a rough one. I suspect I’m not alone in this sentiment.
Okay, so I know right about now I’m supposed to say something about how, but “look at my glass half full and all the beautiful things that have happened this year as well! -smiley face-” Yes, some great, beautiful, wonderful moments happened this year and I am grateful for them. However, sometimes leaning in to and giving a voice to the negative and crappy is necessary and has it’s place. People who immediately try to move on from it and go straight to the silver lining or the positive sometimes don’t give the negative it’s due course thus never actually coming to terms with it and putting it behind them. That my friends is unproductive.
Own the negative! Talk about the negative – unbridlingly (I just made that word up) so! Wallow in it until you’ve had your fill. Then, put it behind you for good and move on.
I’ve spent too much of my life trying to find the good out of the shitty thus never resolving and putting behind me the shitty. Instead it gets buried away in a dark place only to be unleashed in unexpected, and usually inopportune, moments for everyone to see it’s ugly head. Usually it manifests itself into irrationality and anger. That’s never a good thing. In fact, that’s a destructive thing.
So for now, right in this moment, I’m grateful for the end of 2016. I’m going to feel this in all it’s glory and soak in it until I’ve had my fill. Then, when I’m truly good and ready to move on, I’m going to dust myself off and look for the rainbows and sunshine of 2017.